The lights are twinkling. The eggnog is (thankfully) spiked. And somewhere in the swirl of this festive disaster is that one “aunt” – who is absolutely not your aunt – on her third glass of boxed chardonnay asking, “So what exactly do you do with your life?”…
If this holiday season feels less like festive cheer and more like an emotional obstacle course, you’re not alone.
But don’t worry. We’re coming prepared.
Below are three shirts that say exactly what you’re thinking, so you don’t have to.
Along with that, you’ll find practical strategies for making it through dinner without losing your mind.
After all, flipping the table isn’t just for Jesus ’round here.
How to Get Through Holiday Dinner Without Starting a Scene
Step 1: Choose Your Energy Before You Walk In
You know how athletes stretch before a game?
Yeah. That’s you in the car, breathing deeply and preparing for:
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Unsolicited commentary
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Mysterious questions about your life decisions
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The annual “who made the stuffing?” saga
So let's start subtle, as I don't really know what you'll be dealing with.
Shirt #1: Silent Night, Passive-Aggressive Night
Vibe: “I am here. I am festive. I am emotionally elsewhere.”
Wear when: You want to appear cheerful while silently begging the Lord for patience.
This shirt says:
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“I’m making an effort.”
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“Please do not test me.”
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“I have self-control – your nuisance is seen”
Survival Tip:
Set a time limit before you even walk through the door. 90 minutes = gold standard.
When your timer goes off, you’re allowed to go home. Pretend to check the oven, or hide in your car scrolling TikTok.
No guilt. We're out here surviving with boundaries, baby.
Shop: https://shirtgirlproblems.etsy.com/listing/4374108148
Step 2: Prepare for Food + Opinions Served Together
Because someone, somewhere, is waiting for you to sit down so they can say something wild.
Shirt #2: I Asked for the Gravy, Not Your Opinion
Vibe: “I came to eat, not to be emotionally evaluated.”
Use when: Aunt Cheryl starts a sentence with “You know what you should do?”
This shirt is a shield.
A force field.
A psychological block button in cotton form.
Survival Tip:
Chew slowly. Smile politely. Treat conversation attempts like spam calls.
If needed, gently say:
“Sorry, I’m in my chewing era.”
They’ll stop. No one challenges chewing.
Shop: https://shirtgirlproblems.etsy.com/listing/4382847295
Step 3: When the Gaslighting Hits, You Transform
There is always one person at holiday gatherings who remembers events in a timeline that never happened.
They are bold.
They are confident.
They are incorrect.
Time to level up.
Shirt #3: Hark the Gaslighting Angels Sing
Vibe: “I know what happened. I have the receipts. Do not test my archives.”
Use when: Someone says “Nobody said that” while looking directly at the person who said that.
This shirt says:
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“I am festive and healed.”
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“But I will not be manipulated today.”
Survival Tip:
Use The Strategic Exit Line™:
“I’d love to keep chatting, but I promised myself I’d go home before my holiday spirit expired.”
And leave.
Just leave.
Grab your boots, take your cookies, depart like a legend ✌🏽
Shop: https://shirtgirlproblems.etsy.com/listing/4376022778
Bonus Survival Tips (Consider This My Gift to You 🎁)
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Tag-team with a Safe Cousin. Exchange side-eye when danger arises. Bond level: unbreakable.
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The Bathroom is Switzerland. Neutral. Quiet. Scroll-friendly. Use it (and don't worry about what they think you're doing in there).
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Bring a “task.” Stirring gravy is a sanctuary activity.
Post-Event Ritual: Something comfy. Something quiet. Something with carbs.
Look, the holidays are a mix of magic, chaos, nostalgia, emotional gymnastics, and fourteen different casseroles nobody asked for.
But you?
You’re navigating it with humor, self-respect, and excellent shirt-based coping strategies.
Wear the shirt.
Protect your peace.
And if the room gets spicy…
Just remember:
We do not become the drama – we dress for it.
🎄✨ Amen and pass the potatoes.